i was rejected from college again today and i think it was a start for another weird in-between time in my life :( when i applied to colleges after finishing highschool i got into none of them, and it really put me in a weird cloudy time, is the best way i can describe it? and even for months after its been such a sore spot for me. i couldnt talk about anything to do with school without wanting to tear up and sob. going to community college was always like. a humiliation ritual every time i had to tell anyone. like there isnt anything wrong going to community college but when everyone you know got into a big university and knows what they are doing and such it just stings a lot. idk. anyways
i didnt get into the college i applied to and i was prepared for that, i dont have the best grades and my applications were a little rushed and i told myself i expected this to happen but fuck dude it kinda hurts.
i went to cutiefest after getting the news with a friend and did some retail therapy but sadly i always feel worse after spending money most of the time. i got some cute nails and an overpriced shirt i wish i didnt get but its ok i guess. i still feel weird but u know. i guess i just really want to be independent. ive been living with my family for forever ive never moved out, and i cant even drive on my own. its just. urgh. idk. idk how to write blog posts so this is my first i hope they'll get better with time its just something i wanna start bc of this weird in between spot i just started for the second time.